Scene 1: At a pet food store in Tuxedo around noon on 24 December, 2012. We shall call it “Pet Barn” to protect the reputation of the establishment.
[Waiting in line behind 20-something couple blowing $76 on dog toys for their dog, and having each. one. wrapped. individually.]
Clerk at PetBarn: Would you like this deer chew wrapped?
Me: No.
Clerk: We can wrap it!
Me: No. I’ll put it in my purse.
Clerk: How about a bow?
Me: No.
Clerk: Green and red bows are festive. I can tie it on real quick.
Me: My dog self identifies as Jehovah’s Witness.
Clerk: Oh. Are you JW?
Me: No. Just the dog.
Clerk: *stares*
Seriously? My 7 lb, inbred pomeranian lacks the opposable thumbs necessary to undo a fancy bow.
Nor does she get some sort of thrill from unwrapping the bone-motif paper just-so. She is a dog, and not a very bright one at that.
The dog has no fucks to give. None. Not one.
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Scene 2: At a grocery store in Grant Park Festival, around 3 pm on 24 December, 2012.
[Groceries are being rung through the till by a teenage boy who is a poster boy for a “before” Clearasil ad.]
Clerk: Are you ready for Christmas?
Me: Yep, and I can’t wait for it to be over so we can get back to normal.
Clerk: *gasp* BUT WHY? CHRISTMAS IS FUN!
Me: *eyebrow raise* Fun?
Clerk: It’s only one day a year! Come on! All the presents!
Me: One day? It has been going on since Hallowe’en ended. It’s a two month long consumeristic orgy borne of obligation.
Clerk: I guess you’re right. I never thought of it that way. Man. That’s kind of depressing.
Me: You’re welcome.
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Scene 3: Pet food store in Grant Park.
[standing in line, waiting for other people to have their Humvee sized dog crate wrapped]
Clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: I see you looking at that rawhide. Would you like me to ring that up for you?
Me: No. It looks like a festive colon.
Clerk: *looks at rawhide* A what?
Me: A festive colon. A Yule Intestine.
Clerk: *says nothing* *makes face*
Me: Right?
Clerk: I can’t unsee that.
Me: I told you.
Citizen Sourpuss 
Funny your dog is JW. One of my cats is Muslim and I get so tired of the several times daily yowling while bowing down to Mecca at any time of the day or night. Thankfully, the other cat is an atheist
The beauty of living in a free society is that our pets have the ability to express their religious freedom in whatever manner they chose, without fear of prejudice and prosecution. I imagine finding Halal cat food is bothersome though.