After 27 months of living in Winnipeg, I’d assumed that the assimilation/deep integration had more or less concluded, and people would have little cause to pinpoint me as an Outsider everywhere I went.
I no longer need to profess surprise and disgust at the lack of synchronized street lights, absent crosswalks or over-abundance of traffic cameras. I know to make fun of people from Transcona, and avoid Point Douglas like the plague. I have been ritually sacrificed to canker worms/mosquitos/hornets. I band my elms. I know of the Schmoo of which they speak. I do not require GPS to get around.
And yet…
I still get outed as being an import when I open my fool mouth and talk about streets and locations.
The Problem With Pembina
Me: Hey! There’s a great place right off of Pembina for that!
Pegger: What did you say?
Me: There’s a great place right off of Pembina.
Pegger: You’re not from here.
Me: No. I’m from Vancouver.
Pegger: Ha! Nobody here says “PEM-BY-NUH.”
Me: What do they say?
Pegger: “PEM-BIN-A” You’re so funny! “PEMBYNUH.” HA! HA!
Me: Oh.
Kee-Whatdefuq?
Me: Speed traps! Blah blah blah! Got me on Keewatin doing 61 in a 50 zone one morning…blah blah blah!
Pegger: What did you say? Say it again.
Me: Speed traps?
Pegger: No. The other thing. Say the street again!
Me: KEEWATIN.
Pegger: Did you just say *smirk* “KEE-WATT-IN”?
Me: Erm, yes.
Pegger: You’re not from here, are you?
Me: No. Vancouver. Why?
Pegger: I could tell. NOBODY calls it “KEWATTIN”
Me: Oh.
Pegger: Try “KEY-WAY-TIN”
Me: Oh.
Pegger: *cracks up, laughing hysterically* That’s too funny. Ha!
ProVOCation
Me: *Giving presentation* Blah, blah, blah mill rate increase to accomodate school board needs because the provincial government will not be kicking in extra in order to maintain the funding for 2013, and the Board of Trustees is requesting that we send a panel of delegates to a meeting on the 29th at 7 pm at Tec Voc on Wall Street. Blah, blah, blah…. *answers questions* *sits down*
Pegger: *smirk* Did you say “TEC VOC”?
Me: Yes. The Trustee meeting is at Tec Voc.
Pegger: You’re not from around here.
Me: Goddamnit. No. I’m from Vancouver.
Pegger: Protip? Next time say TEC VAWK. We say TEC VAWK.
Me: That’s stupid. What’s wrong with you people? It’s VOCATIONAL not VAWKATIONAL.
Pegger: Tec Vawk. Remember that next time. Otherwise everyone will know you’re from The Outside.
Me: How would I know that?
Pegger: Now you do.
Tec VAWK? WTF, Winnipeg?
Citizen Sourpuss 
Ha! It’s true. Lagimodiere is another one Peggers get snarky about. The same smirky pronunciation crap exists between Halifax and Ottawa, too. Haligonians pronounce Dalhousie like DalHOWzie, where Ottawans pronounce Dalhousie like DalWHOsie. Moving from Hali to Ottawa was pretty amusing, but now DalWHOsie has grown on me.
A bit.
Yes! We were just discussing the other Pegcentric streets of confusion like Lagimodiere and McGilveray. Dalhousie, Spadina, Grosvenor, Tretheway all came up as other National favorites…
Hee hee hee – Pegcentricities! That’s amazing, I’m going to use Pegcentric all the time now.
Best new word EVER.
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Great post, but I have to take at least a small issue with “knowing to avoid Point Douglas like the plague”, especially if you mean the greater voting district area of Point Douglas (which also covers a good chunk of the North End).
Forgive me as I’m new to your blog (hope to spend some time going back and reading older posts later!) as I came here from Winnipeg O’ My Heart but I presume you’ve come to the North End, perhaps even on purpose, but if you ever need a personal guided tour (we will even be super rebellious and drive with the doors unlocked) to help ease your fears, let me know 🙂
Hi, Winnipeg Girl. Thanks for your comments. I do understand the difference between the neighbourhood of Point Douglas and the greater voting district of Point Douglas, which I had investigated in an earlier post https://citizensourpuss.wordpress.com/2010/10/25/dean-koshelanyk-dishes-on-point-douglas-q-a/ during the last civic election. I used to have a job that required me to go inside a number of homes across the North End, and while the vast majority of them are lovely, warm and wonderful, I’ve had some scary encounters in the late evening in that area. While I would not elect to live there, I’m certainly not afraid of the area – but have had some less than positive experiences there as well. That said, one could easily say “…avoid Tuxedo and River Heights like the plague” for a variety of reasons, including affluenza and ridiculously overpriced, leaning houses.