The Bonabo Connection: Nanners Is My Bwest Fwiend

I have a bwest fwiend.

Her name is Nanners, and she lives on the other bloody side of the country.

When everything in the world goes to crap, she’s always on the other end of the phone, either to provide support or to nod in commiseration.

Sometimes she gives me a kick in the head when I need it.

But the reason why she’s my bwestest fwiend is because we can have conversations like this, and neither of us find it particularly deranged:

Me: Blah, blah, boob surgery, blah, blah. Fuck! You know what I could use a friend to do for me right now?

Nanners: What?

Me: Wash my hair. I can’t wash it myself because I can’t lift my arms that high.

Nanners: If I were there, I would totally wash your hair for you.

Me: I know you would.

Nanners: I’d pick the bugs out.

Me: Like a Bonabo Chimp?  *mimes picking lice, even though Nanners can’t see this on the other side of the phone*

Nanners: I’d be your Bonabo.

Me: I’d eat your lice too.

Nanners: Awwww!

*everyone convulses with laughter*

How many people would eat your pretend chimp lice for you? That’s a real friendship.

(You can catch Nanners on her own blog: Disgracing The Nation.)

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3 thoughts on “The Bonabo Connection: Nanners Is My Bwest Fwiend

  1. It’s true. I would totally be your Bonobo. I’d be your goat-milking, wine-stomping, betta-breeding Bonobo (see how I saved the alliteration for the end?).

    Oh! You know my creepy basement shower and how I bought that Scrubbing Bubbles stuff with the automated sprayer so I didn’t have to set foot in it? FUCKING FANTASTIC. The shower looks great and smells amazing. Totally worth the $7 I spent on it.

  2. Don’t forget about the Indian Runner Ducks. They are non-negotiable.

    The Scrubbing Bubbles automatic sprayer is the shizz. I got one when we moved here. Safeway had them marked 50% off, and I couldn’t resist. Beats trying to scour scuzz from the stall, especially in the creepy basement shower.

  3. You’re my kind of people! The hubs and I pretend to do that to each other IN PERSON. 🙂 Glad you’ve got such a great friendship, even if it is all the way across the country. As long as you can burn up the phone lines and Twitter, you’re set! Hope your move goes smoothly.

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