I was cleaning in the basement earlier, in preparation for our impending move to Winterpeg. I found this:
People who had a locker near me in high school/had any classes with me, probably recall that I was something of a rabid leftist in the 90’s.
I had a locker plastered with hammers and sickles and Russian wartime posters. I wore a disconcerting amount of black and possessed a very *eclectic* smattering of NDP and National Party of Canada paraphernalia. Russian-English dictionaries, copies of Mao’s Red Book and Marx’s Communist Manifesto would fall on my head when I opened the door to retrieve a text book. I had an ongoing ideology war with Rob, the boy who had a locker next to me for those 5 long years. Rob was was just as rabid and fanatical, but about right wing politics. He could evangelize and argue the platform for the Reform Party of Canada like nobody’s business. He had pro-life posters taped up to the back of his locker door. We were both active volunteers within our respective parties, and never missed an opportunity to hiss at each other. At graduation, our class nominated people categorically for “Most likely to…” Both Rob and I were nominated “Most likely to start a revolution.”
14 years later, I haven’t got started on that revolution. I’m raising kids and occasionally wading into online political debate. I don’t aspire to lead the nation to *enlightenment* anymore, but still froth at the mouth about hot-button topics that are near and dear to me. Rob seems to be winning on the revolution front for the time being, as he is the pastor of a church somewhere in Alberta. You rock, Pastor Rob.
Much to the disgust of several family members (and a few people who remember my devotion to the NDP and the slave-labor hours I put in as a volunteer) I am now a carded member of the Conservative Party. I contribute financially, I participate when I have time, and I have a love for Steven Harper that borders on stalkerish. (Also, horrifically nauseating to my bff/hetrosexual life partner, Nanners, who calls my Stevie “The Right Honorable Prime Minister Holmokla Eyes.”)
My brother pointedly asked me me several years ago “What the hell happened? Why did you sell out?”
I still believe in many facets of left-wing ideology, and will fight tooth and nail to keep them intact. Yet, there is now a disconnect now between life-circumstances, experiences, and a mellowing out of personality that has happened over the years. (Should there ever be a Green Conservative movement born of discontent with the stagnant and limiting existing options, I’d be in there like a dirty shirt.) Sometimes, I feel politically bi-polar: swaying from one side to the other without notice. I’m ready to chase politicians with torches and pitchforks one moment, and worshiping sweater vests the next. What I believe on a Federal level (right) does not jive with what I stand for on a Provincial level (left). What I envision as good for Canada, I don’t necessarily see as prosperous for BC.
I’d like to think that this makes me a mystery wrapped in an enigma, but it probably just means I’m a flake.
Actually, it probably means I should vote Liberal, but then I’d REALLY be selling out. I do have standards, you know.