The Internet is so impersonal.
Haven’t you ever just wanted to reach out? Just reach out and touch someone?
Well! Now you can, with the Sourpuss Human Contact Generator 1.0!
Put your finger up to my finger.
That’s it! Contact! Human contact!
You did it! *golf clap*
Now, pick the quote that you’d like to imagine me saying as you touch my finger:
- “ET phone home! ET phone home!” – ET
- “Touch me! Touch me! I want to feel your body! Your heart beats next to mine!” – Samantha Fox
- “Touch me! It’s so easy to leave me! All alone with the memory! Of my days in the sun…” – Barbara Streisand
- “Put your tiny hand in mine…and I will be your preacher teacher!” – George Michael
- “Only you can prevent forest fires!” – Smokey the Bear
- “Reach out! Reach out and touch someone!” – AT&T Commercial from the 80’s
- “You’re fired.” – Trump
- “___________________” – Fill in the blank. Let your imagination soar.
Never say I don’t do anything for you, friend.